Why I should maybe have a blog called "Cheerful & Optimistic" or "Ecstatic about the Holidays"

My friend Mary Beth has two small children as well as three teenagers. On her blog this morning she posted about phasing the older kids out of the advent calendar activities. I gave a lengthy treatise on why I wouldn't do that.

But it is a good example of how I feel about the holidays. One thing my sense of irony and cynicism never effects is my love for holidays and celebration. I love Christmas and I love birthdays. I expect big celebration (and presents)! I also LOVE the 4th of July. Not the lighting fireworks part so much but I love the songs, I love the flags, I love the sentiment. At least one of my colleagues found this to be very surprising. Every 4th, I read or make someone else read an excerpt from Caroline Kennedy's book, A Patriot's Handbook: Songs, Poems, Stories and Speeches Celebrating the Land We Love. I hung the giant flag they gave me when my father died (a WWII and Koren War Veteran) on the wall a few days after 9-11.

I think my attachment to the holidays is probably the same as most peoples. They all have rituals and rituals are comforting. I am not good at creating everyday rituals and so I rely on the holidays. I am fortunate that I have the means to participate in these holidays in a way that creates ritual and memories for myself and family.

Yesterday, I was explaining to one of my staff that Christmas is a very middle class holiday. The rituals, even the religious parts, can be very expensive. Christmas trees are costly. Though a family could save money (and trees) by using an artificial tree, most low-income families don't have the money to make the initial investment of $100. If they have $100, the last thing they would spend it on would be a tree. And if they found one for $20 in July at the thrift store they'd be spending that $20 on air conditioning costs.

If you participate in an "adopt-a-family" type of program, you should be mindful of a few things: If you take over gifts wrapped, chances are the adults will unwrap them to see what is there. If you buy wrapping paper to give to the families to wrap on their own, don't forget tape and scissors. Some families want the chance to give the gifts to the kids themselves and probably won't be particularly invested in telling their children about the nice family who helped out. There maybe gratitude but it's going to be an uncomfortable, maybe even grudging thanks. All families just want their kids to have the same things as the other kids. So, if you really want to be helpful, buy and give what you give your own kids, not smaller, cheaper, less than right gifts.

I suppose I have lectured enough on this topic. Mostly I just want to say - Be grateful, celebrate with abandon and know that I love every present I get.